Thursday, January 28, 2010

Missing Barney :'(


yes..

i know..
he's purple..
he's a dinosaur..
a t-rex to be precise..
the kids on the show are creepy..
he sounds like a water balloon on high..
he sings funny songs with super weird words..
he loves the whole world and cason said he's extinct..

but..
this dude..
the one up there...
kinda lighted up my life..
i mean i grew up with barney..
how can one just dismiss such a huge..
literally huge huge part of ones childhood..
ask anyone on the street and i bet they know..
the lyrics to my favourite song at the end of the show...

it goes like this..

i love you
you love me
we're a happy
family
with a great big hug and a
kiss from me to you
wont you say you love me too!

i love you
you love me
we're best friends as friends should be
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you
wont you say you love me too!


ALL TOGETHER NOW!

i love barney.. and i miss singing along.. i wanna lifesize barney plushy.. please?

XoXo

Lost.....


got a text from wendy.. well she's been accepted to some uni in perth.. everyone around me one by one are going places.. leaving the old nest.. spreading their wings.. embarking on the next part of life.. im afraid.. insecure.. lost.. confused.. somewhat helpless.. clueless.. useless.. i dunno what i want to do.. and im not sure how to.. i've been looking so many things up on the net.. but im still not sure.. am i doing it just for the sake of not being left behind or do i really want this? in this whole 5 years of secondary life i just assumed that i would know what i wanted when the time came.. thats what everyone told me.. and i believed that.. honestly.. here i am.. typing frantically about not knowing what to do.. to say that im just lazing around is not completely true.. im doing my research and all.. but it all seems so pointless.. what use is it all if i have no actual direction or target to begin with?

im afraid.. because my excuse now is that im waiting for my SPM results.. but then again.. i dont think i did quite a good job there either.. im even afraid for english dammit.. seriously.. you know.. being idle and not doing anything kinda gives you a lot of free thinking time.. and i cant even count the number of times i've broken down in the midst of all this thinking.. tears aint gonna change nothing.. but it helps anyway.. i know that mom and dad are having rather high hopes on what im going to get.. hopefully i get to score.. i need to.. but i dont think it's gonna happen.. i mean.. the agony is eating me up alive.. i wanna say "lets get it over and done with" but i dont.. i wish we could just take the exam and not repeat it.. i know i wont hear the end of it if i flunk big time.. :'(

help......

X0X0
tears tears..

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Worst Thing..




You know.. i've been living around for 17 years.. and i guess with each and every passing day i begin to realise that the things are just not what they appear to be.. a painted canvas may just look like a painted canvas.. but when the layers of paint are peeled away, only then is the real truth revealed..

I think after seeing what happens around me.. reading about it.. experiencing it on my own and everything else put together.. you just cant help but not fully trust someone just like that.. not completely.. no matter how close they are to you.. because deep down, or even right up at the surface, insecurities overcome you.. i mean.. trusting someone is really easy.. and once the trust is broken.. you have nothing left you know.. how many times have you heard someone say.. ~TRUST ME~ and then at the end of the day, you wake up and find out that the whole "trust me" was a pretty little charade..

A woman's heart is fragile and delicate.. though some may be jaded on the outside to put up a show of bravery, courage and independence.. but a woman is.. still a woman. behind the many masks that she has to disguise the feminine emotional weakness..

i don understand how men take these things so damn lightly.. infidelity, affairs, adultery..etc,etc,etc.. it's almost as easy as breathing.. most of them have these phrases to weasel themselves out..

1. oh, don't you trust me anymore?
2. how can you even think that way?
3. who would you rather believe, me or someone else?
4. it didn't mean anything
5. i love you and i wont do it again
6. it's not what you think
7. i admit i was wrong but it'll never happen again

and the list goes on and on.. sure.. words are all that one can do.. to make it all ok again.. but will it? can it? can it all go back to normal again, as if it had never happened in the first place? dont get me wrong dear whoever thats reading this slightly demented post.. im not saying that all men are likewise.. but quite a handful of them are.. there are good ones out there.. i think.. im not to sure.. im just looking at these things from an outsiders perspective.. as a friend, or sister, or daughter, or anyone.. one can only comfort.. lend soothing words and support to ease this bleeding heart.. but can you imagine what it's like? to be the one who discovers the lipstick on the collar.. or the floral scent that laced the backseat of the car.. or the constant phone calls and sudden change in attitude.. i guess i've done my research pretty well huh?


i'm just saying..

Sunday, January 24, 2010

aiyooooooooooooo...




i've been cooped up in the house for so long that i never really required to get into my nice nice clothes.. i've been living a pretty overly content life by just staying n my oversized, inelastic, ripped and baggy t-shirts that do not relly exhibit ones womanly curves.. and then comes the weekend.. and we decide..
~ok, let's go out...............~

so i go over to my clothes and pick a shirt.. and i pull it on.. fits me just fine.. TILLL.. i turn sideways.. holly shit i look like im in my third trimester of pregnancy.. sigh.. i have officially developed an indian belly.. well.. i once read this indian book about their women.. they say that there must be fleshy rolls of meat around the belly to flaunt when one slips into a saree.. which means to say.. chunky midriffs are the in thing for indian women.. AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH~~

biggest joke ever.. hahaha.. back to where i was.. so i tried on about 3 shirts and cursed myself for getting tight ones.. hahaha.. i found one eventually.. that disguised whatever i had to hide with optical illusion.. hahaha.. thank god..

well.. i shall try my very best to lose this jub jub.. or keep it for awhile.. whatever.. come what may..

till next post darlingzz..

XoXo

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I Love this SONG!!

I'll be the same when it all goes up, I'll be the same when it all goes down
Not the first one open it up, I'll be the last one closing it out
Don't know if I'll give you a shot yet, Lil Mama, I'm peeping your style
Do I think you're dope enough? Yup, one way of finding it out

The way you came at me, boo, don't care, not afraid, I'm like wild
Really want it from head to toe, question if she gon' let it out
Anyway the hour glass go, I don't worry anyhow
Why don't we see where it go? Let's figure it out

When the cats come out the bats come out to play, yeah
In the morning after
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way, yeah
In the morning after

When the cats come out the bats come out to play, yeah
In the morning after
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way, yeah
In the morning after dark


I got a little secret for ya, I never sleep when comes the night
But every time I smack my fingers I switch back into the light
My moon belongs to your sun, your fire is burning my mind
Is it love or is it lust? Something that I just can't describe

Am I the one and only? 'Cause you're the only one
It felt so long and lonely, waiting for you to come
It's looking bright and early, I'm willing to close my eyes
This is the unusual story, Timbo and SoShy

When the cats come out the bats come out to play, yeah
In the morning after
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way, yeah
In the morning after

When the cats come out the bats come out to play, yeah
In the morning after
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way, yeah
In the morning after dark



I need some REM but I don't like sleeping alone
So come and pick me up as soon as you put down the phone
I wanna get into trouble, later you'll carry me home
I wanna go undercover, I just wanna rattle your bones

Yes, I'm the one and only but I'm not the only one
So let's work overtime on this shift, it ends with the sun
Maybe we can start a riot, maybe we can run this town
Maybe I'll be your vampire, we could figure it out

When the cats come out the bats come out to play, yeah
In the morning after
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way, yeah
In the morning after

When the cats come out the bats come out to play, yeah
In the morning after
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way, yeah
In the morning after dark

Dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, in the morning after dark
Dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, in the morning after dark
Please don't leave me, girl, in the morning after dark
Please don't leave me, girl, in the morning after dark
Please don't leave me, girl

When the cats come out the bats come out to play
When the cats come out the bats come out to play
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way

When the cats come out the bats come out to play
The dawn is here, be gone, be on your way

A Lot Has Happened..

Hi Blog Buddy..





Manyak lama saya tidak tulis apa-apa.. saya very malas la.. hehehehehe.. anyway.. first up on life updates.. i finally got to watch AVATAR!! WOOOOHOOOOO~~ it's a must see movie people.. whatever reviews you're hearing bout hte movie.. it's true.. it aint no exagerration.. super good movie to watch.. lots of blue people running here and there with minimal clothing XD.. hahahahahahahaha.. but the storyline was awesome.. graphics was awesome.. i dont normally enjoy these kind of movies. graphics and stuff.. but this one was totally a whole new level.. very beautifully detailed.. especially the pweetty weird flowers.. but i thought the dog was a bit slimy.. lol.. soundtrack is also very nice la.. it's ~i see you - leona lewis~ very fantasy, fairy tale, pwincessy sound to it.. hehehehehe.. it was a good movie la basically..


Next Up,


I baked a chocolate fudge cake.. got icing all you knoww.. hehehehehe.. bodoh.. i tried it today.. but ah.. tasted a bit crappy.. i think the flour didnt rise properly.. but ah.. i used selfraising flour.. aiyoo.. and i bloody double boiled the stuff they asked and all.. it was all so perfect! but.. so not.. i guess... sigh.. try again la.. some day.. *broken cake heart*







And then.........




i love today.. hehehehehehehe.. it's a nice day.. happy 2nd month babe :) you rock my sock.. now and always *huggles* i wrote my last note watching american idol and e!news.. just an FYI.. hehehehehehe.. i hope you dont get bored reading them.. but i know.. you like the ribbon right?


till next post people~~

XoXo



Saturday, January 16, 2010

Rain Makes Me Emo..

franny and mr sheffield-the proposal ;)



ahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha...
well people for starters..
it's been raining donkeys and horses here non-stop..
from sore throat now i have upgraded to a nice bubbly flu.. and when i mean bubbly, i mean BUBBLY.. hehehehehe.. i sound like the nanny.. well.. i have my mr sheffield so it's all good.. AHHHAAA~~(nanny style)

hahahaha.. life has been pretty miserable for awhile but it has taken a 360 degree turn now and everything is fine.. fiiinee... ffffiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee... hahahahaha.. last time i had so many things to blog about.. now i dunno.. im just typing crap.. lol.. but typing crap is fun..


i think what im lacking is inspiration.. i havent written.. like you know write write.. in a very super long time.. well.. come what may :)

i wanna watch avatar... and drink some hot soup.. and play in the rain.. and ride a pony.. please?

 
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