hohoho.. i curi curi...

the internet line is down in me block ryte now..
So i am sitting as close as possible to the opposite block and stealing their line instead..
Genius right?
i know i know :)
All for the desperation of completing a kazillion assignments
(though the first page opened had nothing to do with bio, chemistry or eng)
[yes, it's facebook >.<]
well, i are internet block L stealer XD

XoXo

and those who are being tortured without lovely wi fi

enjoy it SUCKERZZ~!

It's just a phase..

Things will be better..

It's all a part of the sadistic cycle..

Time will heal..

Im really sorry..

You treat me so well..

And i beat you up..

Treat you so mean..

Im so inconsiderate..

Im so so so sorry..

I dont blame you for swearing oso..

I was being annoying..

And very unkind..

Sorry ah........................................................................................

I HATE THIS!

ma..
i miss you..
i dont understand you nowadays..
weren't we able to talk about anything?
it's like you dont know me anymore..
and i cant seem to figure you out..
am i supposed to just predict how you are and how you feel?
i know i was rude and defensive..
but if you heard yourself then u would have reacted the same way..
i guess you're just sick of everything..
and i dont blame you for that..
but it's me..
i want to talk to you..
but instead you didnt give me the opportunity to talk..
it hurts a lot ma..
to hear all those things..
when i know iim not doing anything of that sort..
i guess you're just stressed..
and i understand..
you know how you say you're busy?
and remember the numerous times when you dont pick up the phone?
remember when i was a kid i used to call u\you a million times when you didnt answer?
you know how i felt?
and remember how your answer was;
'i was busy', or 'i didnt see the phone' or 'i left my phone at home'
how come when it happens to me its not as simple as that..
how many apologies do i need to give..
i know that you feel alone..
but dont you think i feel it too?

Releasing my inner kitty.. MEOW~

hohohohohoho.. yez indeed.. ze queen doez not vants to be dizturrrbedz.. 

today was hectic, fun at the start then disturbing at the end.. hey miss F.. you make ur girl students cry.. and im talking plural here.. you might wanna do a raincheck on your species.. lets hope it's human.. i mean come on.. a little compassion wont kill you.. well, im used to it.. so it's fine.. haha.. 

i watched bride and prejudice.. after sooo long.. i loved it just as i did last time.. i owe someone big time.. so much work to do.. so little time.. so much to handle.. too little to cope everything with.. well, i got to do my survey within an hour plus.. kudos to me :)

The day was blue, and a little grey,

but what the heck it's just one more day :)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I so need to save..
SAVE SAVE SAVE..
Must..
So i can materialize my dreams..
Why is it so hard to SAVE!!

It's me.. Not you..

WHY do i always have to be SO sstttuuuppiiiddd..

I act like a shit spoiled brat..

*sigh*

You know.. 

You're the best thing thats ever happened to me..

You still are babe.. 

You always have been..

Why is it that i always end up hurting you?

I hate doing this to you..

I love you so much..

When things like this happen..

I feel like im being inconsiderate to how you feel..

Im so selfish..

Always thinking about me and how i feel..

Never think about how it affects you..

I bet you feel this way about me too..

Im not good enough for you..

Not at all..

You deserve so much better then whatever i have for you now..

All i do is make you upset..

You seem to think that i see you as a failure..

But i dont..

I dont think that you haven't changed..

I do realise that you have..

Even though i never asked you to..

And i appreciate you for your compromises and the little things you do for me..

What you did this morning for me..

Waking up early in the morning and coming all the way..

Acknowledging our difference..

I could never ask for more from you..

You always go the extra mile for me..

And i always feel that i dont..

I dont want to be the one who takes but never gives in this relationship..

I dont think you're an idiot..

And i wish you would tell me out loud how you feel..

Instead of posting it up for me to read..

When i talk to you, i want you to talk to me too..

I want to know what you think, how you feel, what you want..

Not everything can be figured out..

I always tell you..

Everything..

You know every emotion that i feel..

So much so that i dont have to speak a word and you just.. know..

I want to be that way too..

Give me that chance..

I want to know and feel what you feel..

Thats what im here for..

I wish i could give you that comfort..

Of being able to come and pour to me..

The way i do..

You prefer to keep it inside you..

You always tell me not to keep it inside right?

Well, can you try to do the same?

I dont mean 'im used to it' in a cruel and hurting way..

I wouldnt want to hurt you..

Hurting you would mean hurting myself, cant you see?

Im so sorry..

Im sorry for being me..

Im childish, immature, ridiculous, and overacting..

Please for once..

Dont take the blame..

You dont always have to wave the white flag..

Im responsible enough to know when i screw up..

Im just really sorry for hurting you..

But you see..

Im not trying to criticize you..

If i didnt read what you posted..

I still wouldnt know how you felt..

I think i've told you a hundred times..

I want to know..

I guess asking you all the time is annoying?

But still..

I want to share your life, be apart of it, be apart of you..

Let me in..

I'm sorry..

Don't be afraid, No don't suppress it..

I just thought this was cute =)

Im having writters block for the time being dear readers, so do hold on till i get ze inspiration.

XoXo

And today marks 8~

Has it really been this long? And still i feel the same.. smitten and in love.. not a tad bit has changed.. Well, soon enough 8 months will be 8 years..

But why are you so unhappy.. i wish i could make it all go away.. I know the work load is stressing you out.. Just know that im here..

i love you..

for every single day of those 8 months and the many many months ahead :)

Im not giving up...

But my heart and soul is being torn apart..
Limb to limb..
Bone to bone..
Flesh to flesh..
Call it exaggeration..
i honestly dont give a shit what people have to say..

Im trying here..
Making it work...
It's the worst pain to be felt when..
You feel like you've achieved..
And something happens to bring everything down..
I tried to abide what mum said..
Be strong and hold your chin up high..
But i just couldnt today..
I was so humiliated..
Even though some would say its a small thing..
Nothing to think about..
But today..
I just wanted to be my parent's little girl..
The one they're so proud of..
The more i try the harder i fall..
I hate this place..
I miss being with family..
Home..
Where you get direct comfort..
And not through the phone..

Fuck you Ms. F.. thanks for ruining my day..

je t'adore..♥

Im trying to learn French..

why?

coz i think its sexy...

AND

i 

♥

FRENCH fries 

=)

i know ur laughing now wesley ;)

~What are friends for babe~

Today was AWESOME~

Im so happy i got to meet wendy =) we hung out in Sunway pyramid and had what i love best ~Nando's~ (quarter chicken with two sidelines:coleslaw and old style chips/she had potato salad and coleslaw) XD well, we didnt really have much talking time come to think of it now, but hey, it was the company that mattered most :) i did miss her so, and i still do.. it's hard not to have your best friend around when ur stuck in this place.. haha.. well, we had a great time.. its like a record.. not seeing each other for so long.. and yet though i was with her for 4 hours, it felt like 4 minutes.. yes.. it's a girl thing ;) I cant wait to meet up again, and hopefully the next time with her all to myself (yes im selfish) teehee~

And then there is another part of the story.. i was so totally pampered.. i got meself a pretty sundress and a pretty blouse, courtesy of 'you'~ against my will.. i so need to get used to all these things.. i guess it;s true then.. this is my first, real, functional relationship.. no one splurges on me like this.. it feels so foreign.. and it's touching too.. that someone cares for you that they give what they can.. it's really really really nice.. and im really really lucky to have you~ sometimes is feel like i dont deserve it coz i take and not give back.. i feel guilty too.. i dont do anything for you i dont deserve this kind of treatment.. sigh.. i know most girls would love to be in my place.. too bad.. this seat is taken laydeez XD

XoXo

This Song.. My song =)

"Breathe Your Name"

It's every day 
I'm in this place 
I feel this way 
I feel the same 
It's every day 
I'm in this place 
I feel this way 
I feel the same 

Is it all inside my head 
Is it all inside my head 
I'll view the list 
And take my pick 
I view my faith 
And make a choice 
'Cause it's nobody else's but mine 

But you are in my heart 
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind 
From behind the wheel 
When I lose control 
I can only breathe your name 
I can only breathe your name 

So many days within this race
I need the truth 
I need some grace 
I need the path 
To find my place 
I need some truth 
I need some grace 
The part of you 
That's part of me 
We'll never die 
We'll never leave 
And it's nobody else's but mine 

You are in my heart 
I can feel your beat 
And you move my mind 
From behind the wheel 
When I lose control 
I can only breathe your name 
I can only breathe your name 

You'll view the list 
And take your pick 
You'll view my faith 
And make a choice 
'Cause it's nobody else's but yours 

And you're in my heart 
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind 
From behind the wheel 
When I lose control 
I can only breathe your name 

'Cause you're in my heart 
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind 
From behind the wheel 
When I lose control 
I can only breathe your name 
I can only breathe your name 
I can only breathe your name 
I can only breathe your name 

Those Little Things~

They say good things come in small packages, well i have to admit i am a firm believer :) Sometimes, all things nice don't have to come in nice gift wrapped packages with shiny bows tied around it.

A small kind gesture, may mean the world to a wounded soul.
An insignificant smile, may warm the heart of the cold.
A kiss on the cheek, to melt  the heart of the taken.
A ring in a box, for a bare finger.
A bear hug, on gloomy days.
A shoulder to cry on, during a downpour of tears.
A simple 'sorry' to undo the done.
An appreciative thank you, to cherish the deserving.
A wink of the eye, to tickle the unsettled.
A pat on the back, for the achieving.
A shooting star, for wishing woes.

But i know one good thing that everyone should have,
Well i wouldnt say it comes in a package,
But it is the size of your fist,
It beats like a drum,
Fragile and needs much tender loving care,
The best thing in a package,
Is a heart to love that loves you too~

*insert gibberish*

askufhgeayfgeyiummmmmmmmmaidhksjhiasuhfiuashfiuas...

i dunnoooo laaaa...
im soooo liiikkkkkeeeee cccccrrrrrraaazzzzyyyyy..
aaaaallllllll iiiiii wwwwaaaannnnnnaaaa dddddooooo..
iiiiissssss cccccuuuuddddllllleeeee uuuuuuuupppppp ttttttoooooo yyyyyyyyoooouuuuuuuuu...
ccccccaaaaannnn aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
jjjuuussttt wwwwaaaaaannn uuuuuu ttttooooo hhhhhooolllldddd mmmmeeee..
iiimmmm ssssooooo ddddaaammmmmnnnnn cccccllllliiiinnnnggggyyyyy...
aiiiiiiuyyyyyyoooooo........

~yes i wanna look like this~

Just so in ♥

MICHAEL FRANTI~SAY HEY


I say, hey, I be gone today
But I be back around the way
Seems like everywhere I go
The more I see, the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you, baby girl
I love you, I love you, I love you

I've been a lot of places all around the way
I've seen a lot of joy, and I've seen a lot of pain
But I don't want to write a love song for the world
I just want to write a song about a boy and a girl

Junkies on the corner, always calling my name
And the kids on the corner playing ghetto games
When I saw you getting down, girl, I hoped it was you
And when I looked into your eyes, I knew it was true

I say, hey, I be gone today
But I be back around the way
Seems like everywhere I go
The more I see, the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you, baby girl
I love you, I love you, I love you

Now I'm not a highly metaphysical man
But I know when the stars are aligned you can
Bump into a person in the middle of the road
Look into their eyes, and you suddenly know

Rocking in the dance hall, moving with you
Dancing in the night in the middle of June
My momma told me don't lose you
'Cause the best luck I had was you

I say, hey, I be gone today
But I be back around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see, the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you, baby girl
I love you, I love you, I love you

And I say, rocking in the dance, hall moving with you
I say, hey momma, hey momma, close to you
Rocking in the dance hall, moving with you
I say, hey, trippa, trippa, got to shoot

Rocking in the dance hall, moving with you
I say, hey momma, close to you
Rocking in the dance hall, moving with you
I say, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma
Hey momma, hey momma, hey momma, hey momma

My momma told me don't lose you
'Cause the best luck I had was you
And I know one thing that I love you

I say, hey, I be gone today
But I'll be back around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see, the less I know

I say, hey, I be gone today
But I'll be back around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see, the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you, baby girl
I love you, I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you

Rocking in the dance hall, moving with you
I say, hey papa, hey papa, hey momma, hey momma
Rocking in the dance hall, moving with you
Come on, hey papa, hey papa, come to shoot
(Hey mama, hey mama)

Cramps..

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!

Im going to die..............................................

Pranoia..

Things happen..
I think too much..
Too much at stake..
So much to lose..
I did what i had to do..
To not be afraid..
To not lose myself..
Drowning in worry and doubt..
Thanks for being there..

Im sorry..
But you need to know..
I do believe you..
I do trust you..
And i dont doubt whatever you say..
Its me.. not you.. :')

Star For Day~~!

Clinique Star Tour Pic :)

So i was walking down the hall ways of the MPH.. i saw the flyers being distributed.. i thought to myself 'pheh.. AS if.. lol.. i dun do this kinda thing'.. next thing i know, at 4pm i was sitting in the booth filling up my particulars to be a..... *STAR*..... so that's the pic i got.. taken by the gay photographer who TOUCHED me.. lol.. and the other 100 girls :P 

It was like being a pwincess for the whole 2 hours.. before i went back and scrubbed it all out.. it was parallel to having clay on my face.. bluech.. all the foundation and other potions and powders on my face.. ahahahahahahah~~ bloody alchemy man make up.. and the best part was the make up artist was in denial when i said i never used make up.. haha.. and the toner lady said to me point blank that i had clogged pores =.=.. yea.. that was the free consultation..

My RM130 goody bag came with

Lip gloss in 07 (bonfire)

Serum for radiance

Salon ESPRIT RM50 voucher

it was a greeeaaaatttttt day :)

Be A Star!

Clinique Star Tour 2010

Attention to all girls out there, here’s your opportunity to be the cover girl of CLEO magazine!


Here’s how:
Step 1: Head over to your nearest Clinique Star Tour roadshow.
Step 2: Purchase a RM30 voucher and receive Clinique door gift worth RM130!
Step 3: Have a customized consultation by Clinique experts.
Step 4: Have a makeover done by Clinique make-up experts.
Step 5: Hair do by Salon Espirit.
Step 6: Portraits taken by a professional photographer.
Step 7: Choose your favourite shot and describe yourself in 3 words.


So, what exactly is this Clinique Star Tour 2010? It is a unique makeover event that specifically targets young, energetic and aspiring women (aged between 15 to 25) with the objectives of offering them a unique, once-in-a-lifetime Clinique experience that is fun and engaging!

The Star Tour involves a custom built (3-tonne) mobile makeover truck with 8 make-over stations. Once you have signed up, you will get to experience STAR TREATMENT, as indicated by Step 3 to Step 6 above. The best shot of you that is taken during the roadshow will be uploaded at theClinique Star Tour Gallery. Once the tour has ended, 25 finalists will be shortlisted for voting! Top 3 winners of the contest will have the opportunity of being featured on the cover of CLEO magazine and walk away with RM5000 worth of Clinique products.


Awesome contest with attractive prizes isn't it? So what are you waiting for? Quickly mark the dates down on your calender and be there!

Locations and time of roadshow are as below (*subject to change):

College: 10am - 5pm
Shopping Mall: 11am - 7pm

3 July (Sat) : Sunway Pyramid, Sunway
4 July (Sun) : Pavilion, Kuala Lumpur
5 July (Mon) : Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR), PJ Section 13
6 July (Tue) : Inti University College, Nilai
7 July (Wed): Nilai University College, Nilai
13 July (Tue): Segi University College, Kota Damamsara
14 July (Wed): Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UPM)
15 July (Thu): Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM)
16 July (Fri): Taylors College, Subang Jaya
19 July (Mon): Multimedia University (MMU), Malacca
20 July (Tue): Tunku Abdul Rahman (TAR) College, Setapak
21 July (Wed): Multimedia University (MMU), Cyberjaya
22 July (Thu): Monash University
23 July (Fri): Universiti Malaya (UM)
28 July (Wed): Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR), Kampar
29 July (Thu): Universiti Teknologi Petronas (UTP), Tronoh, Perak
30 July (Fri): Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM), Penang
31 July (Sat): Queensbay Mall, Penang
1 Aug (Sun) : Gurney Plaza, Penang
2 Aug (Mon) : Tunku Abdul Rahman (TAR) College, Penang

For more info, visit http://www.cliniquestartour.com.my/ :)

Final breakdown..

To me, im the luckiest daughter in the world. I get almost everything i want from materialistic supplies to unconditional love and attention. I have been brought up to live for myself and not for others. Whatever i do is for me, not to benefit others. All i want to do is make you proud mum and dad. To give back all i can for everything that you have given me. I was afraid to call home today to tell you my results dad. But instead, you said all the things that i didnt have to. You told me there was nothing to be disappointed about because you knew i worked hard, you knew that i was trying my best. You said you were proud of me no matter what. Those words were the exact things i needed to hear. I really wish i could give you better, but then again, at least you know that i am giving it my all. In myself i want to do better, and i will go the extra mile to get what i want. It is true, im not used to underachieving. It's just not me to not achieve. I thought you would be sad and that i would have let you down. But i guess you both know me better than i know myself. I wish i was home so badly. Mum said before i left that i shouldn't cry. This makes it hard for me to leave and harder for them to let go. I must be strong, and learn how to live alone. I must not wallow in self pity or be emotionaly influenced. this is a part of life i have to live through. No turrning back, only walking forward. Though the road ahead is made of broken glass and burning coal, i will walk the walk. 

I just wish i could get those dad's bear hugs and mum's encouragement.. i miss you both.. i need you so much...

My cupcakes~

its yummy.. self explanatory much :)