Fairy Tales..

Little girls,

Read to almost every night by a loving parent,

A beautiful story of a magical kingdom,

Of a royal damsel in distress,

To be rescued by her prince,

To be awaken from enchantment,

With the touch of true love's first kiss,

Placed upon that white horse as they gallop away,

Together in love the race into the horizon,

As the chapter ends with "... and so they lived happily ever after"

The loving parent closes the book and says goodnight,

These little girls tucked neatly into their beds,

Entering a new world as the slumber kicks in,

Fantasies of fairy tales galore,

Eyes shut firmly wishing never to wake up,

But alas, dreams are mere illusions of the heart.

I've always wanted my fairy tale, i remember all those times we swapped fantasies during girl talk session.. how he would look like, how he would come out of the blue and sweep us off our chubby ankled feet, just stare deeply into our eyes, soul searching; those penetrating eyes, how it would send shivers down our every bone.. How he would be there for every month, week, day, hour, minute, second of our lives.. How the relationship would not be perfect, sure we said we'd harrow through some tough times, but we said to ourselves, those speedbumps will only make our feelings stronger for each other. One thing we said was that, we were not going to beg. No we wont. We were convent girls, "so if you liked it then you shouda put a ring on it", we said that we were gonna be with him for as long as it lasts, we never believed in forever and always, we said our love would be all about living it to the fullest at the present. If he said he wanted out, then walk away. Dont get me wrong readers, im not saying that we were being arrogant, or sassy. But we just didnt see the point of hanging onto something that only we could envision happening. It takes two to make it work, what one lacks the other compliments.  Love that saying. Thats how it should be, wholesome and complete, complete.. not prefect.

To all the ladies out there, hear me out.  We're not perfect, heck even i think we're complicated creatures. I get pissed at myself too. We have so many things to handle and above that, PMS! Haha, but what im saying it this.. We all are on a quest for love..

Cheap Trick-I Want You To Want Me

I want you to want me. 

I need you to need me. 

I'd love you to love me. 

I'm beggin' you to beg me. 

I want you to want me. 

I need you to need me. 

I'd love you to love me. 

I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt. 

I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me. 

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'. 

Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

I want you to want me. 

I need you to need me. 

I'd love you to love me. 

I'm beggin' you to beg me. 

I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt. 

I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me. 

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'. 

Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'. 

Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? 

I want you to want me. 

I need you to need me. 

I'd love you to love me. 

I'm beggin' you to beg me. 

I want you to want me. 

I want you to want me. 

I want you to want me. 

I want you to want me. 

Isnt this what we want to hear? I hope this doesnt sound like bullshit to my dear readers.. But this is what i wanted =) I've been through shitty times before, and regretted wasting so much time mourning a good loss. The heartache that comes when you feel the love slipping through your fingers, or when the glitter just refuses to shine anymore, hurts.. like a bitch it hurts.. Time's the only cure im afraid.. Sometimes we end up in little detours, what im saying is that sometimes we're with people whom we're just.. with.. for the time being.. which means, we havent really found "the one" yet. as much as you try to convince urself, when the other turns a stale heart against you.. you know its time to move on.. We are you, beautiful, carefree and FULL of spirit ladies, dont let a spoilt fruit eat your heart out.. come on, "sometimes love comes around, when it knocks you down, just get back up, when it knocks you down"  

Sometimes people dont realise what they have until its gone, so let them suffer.. A taste of their own medicine.. Why let life bite you in the ass? 

We all have fairy tales, we all deserve to live in one.. Have you found yours?

The one who holds you tight even when he's tired?

The one who wipes your tears when you cry for the slightest thing?

The one who who lets you drool on his shirt when you accidentally fall asleep?

The one who kisses you on the forehead even when you have stinky hair?

The one who says you look great on a bad hair day?

The one who gets defensive whenever someone tries to intimidate you?

The one who sings for you when you ask him too?

The one who'd be so dead sleepy but still spend time with you?

The one who sends you lengthy goodnight messages?

The one who randomly says "i love you" unexpectedly?

The one who doesnt care if you have furry legs or a pudgy belly?

The one who apologises even if you initiated the fight?

The one who is not afraid to let you tie his hair up to annoy him?

The one who would do anything for you?

The one who would hold your hand everywhere you walked?

The one who says "im gonna marry you one day"?

The one who appreciates the things you do out of love?

The one who gives you piggybacks on a cold day?

The one who'd drive to almost anywhere to pick you up?

The one who'd make sure your safe at all times?

And most importantly,

The one who loves you yesterday, today and tomorrow the same way he loved you the first time he said it, or if anything loves you more now even though time has passed you by...

We all deserve our fairy tales, 

Im glad i found mine <3 

Evening is the whole day...

I love taking a quiet stroll in the evening.. i used to go with shobby around the area i lived in.. the evening..it's ambiance so serene and calm.. peaceful and captivating.. you see the tired flowers yawning as they cover themselves up into a tight curled bud.. the sounds of the birds returning to their nests after a day of flying.. the busy sounds of the nocturnal crickets, and an occasional croak from the grumpy bullfrogs insisting that its presenc be acknowledged...

I love the evenings.. the breeze that touches my nose, eyes, lips, ears, rushing through my hair as i stood dangerously in the swings.. enjoying every moment of this part of the day, before it is engulfed by night.. Walking with my father at this time of the day, enjoying a peaceful father daughter moment.. not a word is needed to be exchanged.. for it is the evening.. and everything is just fine.. surprises in the evening.. a lonely stray puppy, or a baby bird fallen from its nest.. the little wonders of life.. is part and parcel of the evening.. the radiant glow of the sun.. not as bubbly as the morning, nor as menacing as the afternoon.. as it glows in regal rays, and the clouds drift by.. 

I love my evenings with my mother, as we sit for tea in the porch of our comfy den.. sipping spiced tea and dipping cream crackers.. enjoying a hearty laugh over memories reminisced.. conversations unfold without a hint of frustration, flows smoothly like clear water on a rock.. the evening brings such magic.. one has to wonder how.. I love how the sun falls onto her face and lights up those dark brown eyes, for a second i envision the way she looked like when she was as young as i.. the evening is definitely her favourite part of the day...

I love the evening as my darlings are let loose, as Brutus proclaims upon the death of Caeser, "Freedom! Liberty! Tyranny is dead!" cries these unchained canines as they are released from captivation.. I do love to see their expressions as they run about basking in the evening loom.. Breathing in the scent of the evening... Cuddling up to their beloved masters and mistresses.. Anticipating to be leashed and walked around the area, parading their most unacceptable childish behaviours.. And my snotty little felines, active by day and lazy by dusk.. stretch upon the couch.. marking their spot for the day.. without a care for the world, bat their eyes at the day.. anticipating twilight.. for the evening has come.. 

I love the evenings.. for it is indeed the whole day.. after harrowing through the tests of time, i find myself in a moment like this, a moment like this.. when the evening comes.. makes all the tough times seem worthwhile.. 

I love the evening.. especially when enjoyed with a loved one.. Remember the park love? when we sat in the gazebo.. still shy and timid at first, yet still so in love? Remember those days up on that hill love? Where we high above the world, like we were the only two souls that mattered.. embracing the sunset and the salty sea breeze... A kiss in the evening.. to seal the deal.. i love my evenings as much as i love you..

I love the evening.. It is the whole day...

My square root three is you..

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight

Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed...

Jamban..

isnt this a pretty garden ornament? LOL i couldnt resist taking a picture of this when i saw it outside  my the J hostel block while i was walking back from class.. haha.. it kinda lifted my spirits..

Today is a good day.. so nice and filled with content.. no problems.. np frustration.. i like days like today.. well maybe accept for the fact that wesley has upgraded me on the spoilt brats list.. well, some things cant be changed.. hahaha.. but that was fun.. his reaction throughout the conversation was epic.. like "omg this shite is unbelievable" haha.. well, the truth can be scary at times..

You know, i wouldnt mind a pizza right now.. or a wonderful Spicy chicken mcDeluxe.. or a Snack plate for that matter.. i crave for fast food.. PLEASE... have mercy on me.. how long has it been? feels like forever.. =( 

Today marks the 11th month, and i know in my heart that the days will keep going and i know this is real.. Im glad for myself that i know im in the right direction..

You rock <3

Blog Shblog

I malas la to blog.. nothing to blog about oso.. ish..

thats all for today..

bye..

Acceleration..

Mr Yap has made it permanent in my head that a=qE/m.. For the rest of my life.. its engraved into my skull.. lol.. Two weeks more to go.. i hope i'll win this battle.. even if it is a diplomatical win ;)

I got back 3 of my exam papers.. i failed physics.. expected.. got a B for Bio and a C for Chem.. lol.. you can say i gotta P for Physics.. coz its Pure shite XD

Gotta go wash the cafeteria outta my hair now.. ciao sexy people =)

='(

It's two o clock in the morning and im blogging.. i woke up coz i couldnt breathe..

And i realised i has cried myself to sleep.

So I cry in the showers..

Do you have those moments in your life, when you feel you've put in all you've had.. Hoping that you'll find that silver lining from that grey cloud..

I dont know what to do, i dont feel any regret, because i dont know what else i was supposed to do...

I really really want to do better, and to be better..

Failing just isnt funny..

How much must a girl do to study and accept the fact that she's doing something she doesnt have much passion for?

I blame the management, for not briefien me thoroughly on my options...

You bloody fuckers didnt tell me i had a choice...

To choose another subject and mix..

And you didnt telll me i could switch subject after the programme had started..

Too late to complaint now..

I wish i could do better.. For myself..

Every time the paper gets back to my hand..

It's the same cycle of self pity, tears and complaints..

Hiding behind a veil hurts a lot..

I'll be strong for myself..

I have one more chance...

To prove myself for me and my parents..

Surrounded by achievers...

I hope i'll pull through..

God give me some grace...

Let me find my silver lining..

Please im begging you..

I know only i can help myself..

But i need some guidance..

Give me that at least..

One more shot thats all i've got..

Let me do this well..

Let me do this right...

Mom and dad i miss you so much..

I wish i had you here to scold me instead of saying "it's ok try harder" on the phone..

Its not ok..

Im not ok...

I just wanna make you proud of me...

Im sorry..

Lovin' This Song~

I am unwritten
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined

I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines

We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way, no

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

This is ridiculous..

But hugging Dasi is kinda like hugging you.. only smaller =)

How can a person miss someone else when that person lives a few steps away from the other person?

How can someone feel lonely because that someone cant spend time with someone else?

Why is this person being so emotional like the person is pregnant or something?

Well, this person wants to let the other person know that this person understands that person is busy.

This someone know that the person is not doing it on purpose to make the someone feel alone.

But, this person cant help it.

It's funny how someone's heart can be so vulnerable and fragile at some points of their lives.

What a wrong time to be at that point.

This person wants to be held close to a persons heart and just lay there to hear it beat.

This person wants to be able to talk to the other person without crying like a retard.

This person wants the other person to know that this person wants to spend her whole life with the other person.

So it's ok if the person has no time now, because this person looks forward to the future.

I need you so much right now...

Passion for cuticles..

I love doing my nails.. i love it love it love it... I hate it when it looks ugly though.. and im always so impatient.. so it gets smudgy before drying.. heh heh.. i've done a few here and there.. when i first started i was excited with the fact that you could use stickers and make it look like 3-d nail art.. but now im gonna start trying doing it on my own.. i've got my brushes and my toolbox of supplies.. i've given 4 people manicures and all were very nice luckily.. hehe.. well these are a few of the ones i've tried out.. a lot more i did not take pics of.. lol..

 With nail art stickers

 Stripey colours of turquoise, blue and purple

 Amateur french manicure

 Rachel's cute colour choice!

 Diagonal stripes of blue, turquoise, and shimmer green

Elodie's spicey colours of wine red and chili red!

More to come babes~!!

My Shopping List..

Shop Guy: Yellow ma'am, hau can i yassist you twodayy?

Me: Hey, erm.. i need to get some stuff kay...

Shop Guy: Shure shure ma'am, yanything you vant wokay?

Me: I need some time, some freedom, some fun and a life..

Shop Guy: Can you please rrrepeat your order ma'am?

Me: Retard, i need some TIME, FREEDOM, FUN and a LIFE.. got that?

Shop Guy: Wokay wokay, let me check in the storage for your weird orders..

Me: *grunt*

Shop Guy: Im sorry dearr, but we only have deep shit, a few bags of stress, loads of 'no time' pills annnd   sorry, but we dont have life either.. you can get all of these at half price.. ma'am.. tak it or leave it yarr..

Me: Over my dead body you retard...

Shop Guy: Owh ma'am thousand apologies, you dont get them at half price.. you get it for FREE... It comes with your programme yar.. enjoy the bags of stress, they're my favorrite (genuinely excited)

Me: *crawls into grave*

...

I need some grace..
I need the strength..
Tell me i'll be fine..
Tell me it's alright..

Give me your will..
Give me your courage..
Let me be confident..
Let me be secure..

Say i am not mad..
Say its not that bad..
Whisper that it is okay..
Whisper that this will get better..

I'll cry out of frust..
I'll cry out of self pity..
Lift me up when im down..
Lift me high up the ground..

Help me save myself..
Help me stay alive..
Please just say you will..
Please just say you'll stay..

I need some grace..
I need some grace..