The Worst Thing..

You know.. i've been living around for 17 years.. and i guess with each and every passing day i begin to realise that the things are just not what they appear to be.. a painted canvas may just look like a painted canvas.. but when the layers of paint are peeled away, only then is the real truth revealed..

I think after seeing what happens around me.. reading about it.. experiencing it on my own and everything else put together.. you just cant help but not fully trust someone just like that.. not completely.. no matter how close they are to you.. because deep down, or even right up at the surface, insecurities overcome you.. i mean.. trusting someone is really easy.. and once the trust is broken.. you have nothing left you know.. how many times have you heard someone say.. ~TRUST ME~ and then at the end of the day, you wake up and find out that the whole "trust me" was a pretty little charade..

A woman's heart is fragile and delicate.. though some may be jaded on the outside to put up a show of bravery, courage and independence.. but a woman is.. still a woman. behind the many masks that she has to disguise the feminine emotional weakness..

i don understand how men take these things so damn lightly.. infidelity, affairs, adultery..etc,etc,etc.. it's almost as easy as breathing.. most of them have these phrases to weasel themselves out..

1. oh, don't you trust me anymore?

2. how can you even think that way?

3. who would you rather believe, me or someone else?

4. it didn't mean anything

5. i love you and i wont do it again

6. it's not what you think

7. i admit i was wrong but it'll never happen again

and the list goes on and on.. sure.. words are all that one can do.. to make it all ok again.. but will it? can it? can it all go back to normal again, as if it had never happened in the first place? dont get me wrong dear whoever thats reading this slightly demented post.. im not saying that all men are likewise.. but quite a handful of them are.. there are good ones out there.. i think.. im not to sure.. im just looking at these things from an outsiders perspective.. as a friend, or sister, or daughter, or anyone.. one can only comfort.. lend soothing words and support to ease this bleeding heart.. but can you imagine what it's like? to be the one who discovers the lipstick on the collar.. or the floral scent that laced the backseat of the car.. or the constant phone calls and sudden change in attitude.. i guess i've done my research pretty well huh?

i'm just saying..