Hello Bloggy Baby, Bubye Tumblr!

Hey hey..
I dont think anyone reads my blog anymore.. Teehee!! But still, i miss blogging.. and tumblr is becoming too mainstream.. So till next post!! Im excited to kick start my writting life all over again! and enough with those emo posts!! Such a depressing sight Resshaya!! >:(

Ciao lovelies <3

So this is goodbye..

Hey bloggy baby,
You know you're awesome right? Dont think that you werent good enuff for mummy, but i just needed a change.. You've been a really good companion through out the time i've been using you as my portal to allow my thoughts to channel through you.. Thanks for being there when i needed someone to hear me out.. im so sorry but i guess i might be posting my last post right now.. But maybe.. just maybe, you'll find me running back to you again..

Three cheers to you - bestiest blog ever <3



I've relocated to:
http://logorrheamadness.tumblr.com/

Take Me Dancing =)

I've been dancing in my room a lot... And in the showers too.. (i nearly slipped on soap.. serves me right).. I just LOVE dancing.. it releases the turgid part of me.. =)

Latest song stuck in my head? Men Without Hats - Safety Dance.. Pure awesomeness.. The lyrics are cool too.. =) in the sense that you should just dance regardless of whether you look like an idiot.. just shaddup and DANCE already~!

Hmmmmm.. im thinking about switching to tumblr.. should i?? XD

Dull

I feel like a pearl who's lost it's luster..
Im walking about like a lifeless body..
Smilling seems so heavy..
Im afraid im losing my sparkle..
Im afraid of losing myself..
In this time of hardship and emotions..
Im afraid of metamorphosis..
I want to endure this..
But i want to stell be me..
Have you really taken even that from me?
Are you that big a part of myself that you've left me a new unknown being?
Should i hate you for it..
Or should i hate myself for letting it come to this..
Carefree and happy i always was..
Not a care or worry in the world..
I feel so empty..
Like a moving cavity..
Im holding on to the remaining roots of myself..
I sit and wonder...
How was i before you came along?
I wish i could bring that part of me back to life..
I love you.. Dont get me wrong..
But im lost..
So lost it hurts so much...
Im lost...

Anatomy...

Today i had my first lesson for Anatomy 1.. Mr Nagarajan says that anatomy is the science of studying the human body and its relationships... As he further explained the subdisciplines in this subject.. He introduced us to several different areas in anatomy.. The one that intrigued me was 'Surface Anatomy'.. Refers to the external outlook of our body.. face, body structure and what not.. Well, we all have the same physical features.. you know.. the basics.. nose, eyes, hair, ears, lips.. etc.. exactly the same.. and yet.. we all look different.. i think thats amazing..

Angel =)

Angel - Atilia (OST Talentime by Yasmin Ahmad)


Angel
I have a dream of you I can't defined
You've been on my mind
Don't go
I feel lost without you by my side
Lost and on my own
Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Angel
Your brightest star is shining next to mine
Every night and day
You know
Stars exploded then they fade away
Then they fade away
Yeah I'm falling for an angel
Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Would you please be my babe
Come by and I lay you down
I'm loving when you say I love you too

Won't you please be my honey
I'm sorry that I let you down
Your eyes are breaking my heart in two
Break my heart in two

Angel
May the one above us keep you safe
Every night and day
If he knows
How I love the smile all on your face
When you are here to stay

Yeah I'm falling for an angel
Yeah I'm falling for an angel



Listening to this song over and over again through out the movie brought me to tears every single time it was sung.. its such a beautiful song.. omg.. her voice is amazing.. schockingly amazing.. i wish i could sing like this.. love this song.. omg.. love it..


I miss you baby..

Sayang..

Baby... =)

I is luff yu veli mach yu nou.. I is sollie i is imo nau.. Not me folt.. Yu manja manja me so mach.. Veli hart fo me to bee not wit yu.. I is solli i is shout at yu samtymes.. Me velli the bodoh.. I is think yu oledi no tat i kanot lif witautchu.. Yu is mai evlithing... I is solli wen i is iivel tu yu.. Me don min it.. Jus woMAN hormons go cwazy.. I is heppi tat yu owez der fo me.. Yu rok.. I luff yu.. Yu da bestiest.. awesomest.. superest.. hemsemest.. lovablest.. romanticest.. understandinest... and a lot more est.. in da hole waid world =)

I LUFF YU!

I miss this.. 

Inti Sucks...

Im back..
This place used to be my playground..
Now it looks like a cemetery..
Im alone..
Feeling empty to the core..
My hands are cold..
My eyes are sore..
I cant even look at all the spots we used to hang out at...
Do you know how bad it hurts?
I love you so much..
But i hate you for giving me hope that we'll be here together..
Im weak..
My willpower is below zero..
For you i'll try to be stronger..
I hate growing up..
You were my safety harness here..
Now i have to be careful..
I feel like a fool..
I need you here so much..
It's just not the same without you..
I know your still a phone call away..
I know that i'll be with you through whatever..
This is gonna be a rocky road..
It already is..
Fuck la...
Why am i so emo..
Im not like this..
I cant wait to get myself occupied..
I DONT want to be distracted..
I need to be good in what im doing..
I cant wait for these years to pass..
To have you to myself officially..
My hands are cold..
I need you to hold it tight..
Be patient with me..
These feelings are new..
Let me get used to this..
We'll be alright..
I miss you so much..
I hate this place to bits..
In 9 months anything can happen..
Im sorry i have to say this..
But i hope things do change..
And i hope you get to stay..
Still, i've got your back baby..
Long distance is the new rock climbing i heard..
Lets go for it then..
Bring on the ropes..

='(

Explanation!

I finally saw the light!! i was so amazingly emo on a whole new level and i only realised why today!! i was PMS-ing!! hahahah.. no wonder my pists were so retardedly sad and depressing!! i tend to cry a whole ocean of water during these troubled times.. hahaha.. i thought i was genuinely sad because i was leaving and all... but even i felt like i was overdoing the sadness.. untill.. tum tum tum.. the crimson wave overcame me.. hahaha.. and it all made sense =)

women.. so complicated.. XD

Clocks..

It's watching me, painfully scrutinizing my every move..
With every passing second,
It taunts me, reminds me,
Of what i've been trying to ignore..

Three days more?
Is that really all the time i have left?
i've been trying so hard..
To tell myself i'll be fine..
But im lying to myself and everyone around me
How long must i keep up with this charade?
I dont want to go..
Too little time..
I need more time..
Im leaving to soon...
I really dont want to go..
Im tired of not sleeping..
Tired of crying myself to sleep..
Tired of being afraid..
I just feel like screaming my soul out..
I just dont want to go...
I wanna be here.. with you..
like we planned.. but now its all different..
The damn clock wont stop ticking..

UNFAIR!!

God.. it soooo unfair when you just see these stick skinny toothpick sized girls chomping down a whole table full of food and yet not gain a single ounce.. UNFAIR! Curses to the indian 'voluptuous' genes.. wide hips.. thunder thighs.. a whale lot of (and i mean it when i say whal.. not a typo) of belly.. and of course.. the signature arse.. =S

And those girls? Eat everything under the sun.. and also fit into every single piece of garment under the sun.. goodness me.. UNFAIR!!

Hahaha.. well.. i got the inspiration to blurt this whole lot of lard after browsing through some random people in my facebook list.. the camwhore shots.. how do they do it? super skinny.. and the ability to take pictures of yourself? like.. seriously?? =(

Wellllll..... everything said and done.. i have to live with my curves.. haha.. i'll never be plank skinny.. its a fact i'll have to accept.. but hey.. respect to those who eat and still stay thin.. maybe its laxatives??

Food for thought ey? ;)

Happy Lemur's Day!

Im obsessed with lemurs now.. thanks to King Julian from the animated movie Madagascar!!

Go LEMURS!!!

Happy new year folks XD

That ol' Saying..

I remember reading this line in books, and watch actors repeat this line in movies on the telly.. but i never really completely understood the logic in saying it..

"If you love someone, let them go."

Sound insane right? Well this is usually said when a break up occurs.. but this doesnt apply to me.. haha.. im not breaking up or anything.. but you know.. i had hopes and dreams of how my actual college experience would be.. prom.. walking to class together.. complaining about my day.. bitching about the lecturers.. maybe for once i'll break my insecure membrane and do something dangerous.. like.. clubbing.. OOPss.. bad thoughts.. ahhahahhaha.. well, now i have to face the facts.. reality is screaming into my ears and painted across every white wall.. haha.. i dont think i can put off the truth and try to act like the opposite might just happen anymore.. sure it was super hard when i first heard the verdict.. wow.. 4 years away.. a thousand miles away.. with skype and i talk as the only portal of communication..its a hugs change.. from being a kilometer away from each other in sandakan.. and a hostel block away in campus.. haha.. but you know.. i did tell you right this year i'd be Grace Kelly?

So i'd like to annonce that now.. i have learnt the complete phrase of the above..

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

I know you are mine.. and i know that we can make this work.. no matter what you choose.. i'll always be there to hold your hand.. i'll back you up, support your decisions, give allowance to what you deserve to have.. so what.. four years.. i'll still be here.. Im indian.. so.. it's up to Fate.. i believe that if we were meant to be, we'll harrow through this storm.. and if we weren't then.. its just not our destiny.. but all i wanna say is that.. the sadness of parting is unevitable.. but when the tears dry up and the thin layer of depression peels away.. always know that i have your best interest at heart.. come back after 4 years... we'll be adults.. and finally build a future together.. so... because i love you, im letting you go =)

=)

IM SO HAPPY WITH MYSELF!!

I think i deserve a pat on the back.. haha.. i worked hard.. and i had an aim.. i got a little bit higher than i aimed.. which is better i guess =)

Yes people, SAM results.. Teehee.. i qualify for physiotherapy! Weee~~ old people and sports people here i come =)

But i know where im going.. i always have.. im just worried that i'll be on my own for the next 4 years.. Well, if its meant to be.. it'll happen.. so im keeping my fingers crossed...

Sigh..

Results are coming out soon.. on thursday as a matter of fact.. its all down to this now.. did my best.. hope the verdict is satisfactory..

I wish the clock would stop turning and the planet would stop spinning.. i need some time.. i want to talk to you so much.. time is not right all the time.. my patience and virtues are being tested  to the max.. i cant wait to be home..

You

You are my only exception.. call it cliche.. but there is no other way of phrasing it.. you are..

je'taime baby.. je'taime..

Cuppa Tea For The Yearning Soul..

Im stuck at home.. You're so busy.. Im leaving this friday.. You're leaving when i get back.. Ish..

Whatevs.. So i went out today with mum and dad and i got meself a relaly pretty dress with funky colours and it has this real pinstripes/hillbilly/girly feel to it.. its cute.. and i got another dress its silvery/blacky shimmery with sleeves.. but i guess it's too short to be worn on its own.. so out come the leggings =)

You know a perfect day to me is superly simple, and nope, it does not involve shopping at all. All i would ever want to make a day of my life all the more worth living for is to just spend a single day. Just one whole day with you. Waking up in the morning next to you, and watch you sleep while im awake. Make you breakfast and snuggle up while watching the crappy shows they have on the telly in the morning. Getting dressed in my super comfy pilak clothes (holes and all) and just sit, talk, watch tv, play scrabble? Just do things only the two of us can do.. But that never happens.. I spent today thinking about all the times we said we'd spend the day together.. and something always comes up.. naw im not gonna spill the beans here in cyberspace.. that'll be tactless.. But seriously.. Just this one wish.. that doesnt even come with a price tag.. has yet to be fulfilled.. dont get me wrong darling readers.. i aint complaining.. its just ironic.. the most simple things life has to offer.. is way tougher to achieve rather than those that are purchasable.. Life bites that way.. Well, i still have my hopes and dreams.. Hoping is not a crime isnt it.. it's just that, you gotta be prepared to brace the fall that comes with shattered hopes.. haha..

I miss you.. Thats all im saying.. Haha..

I dreamt about baby elephants last night.. this was soooo weird and kinda cool.. I was in some forest reserve center.. and i was there with my family and my uncle's family and we were there looking at huge elepants.. suddenly there was one baby elephant that was next to me and i was playing with it.. and my dad asked me if i wanted it.. and i said yea i want it.. and the next thing i know, we're litereally elephantnapping this baby elephant and there was a staircase to go up to the car park and we made it walk up the stairs.. which was not weird in the dream but was weird when i woke up.. and i had this huge ass Land Rover Defender, and we stuffed the elephant into it.. and drove back home.. and we had a collar for it and tied it to the banana tree in my backyard.. LOL!!

The first thing i thought bout when i woke up was, how we gonna clean the elephant poop?

Till next post lovers <3

uninspired..

I have so much of nothing to do right now.. i spoke to miss tan yesterday on fb.. she's really cute.. and she said i should go on a trip with boi boi.. LOL.. im only 18! well, she's really nice though.. and i've been just watching tv.. rewatching gossip girl, eating.. doing nothing.. sleeping.. and stuff.. nothing much.. im so bored.. typing this is boring.. bored............................................. *dead*